My mother has pneumonia now. She has an abdomen so swollen she looks nine months pregnant. She has the worst case of C.diff that the hospital has encountered. Now she has pneumonia.

She has started to eat, after a week of being unable to keep anything down. She has taken a few walks. Her leaky plumbing has started to dry up a wee bit. She is more alert.

However, she now has pneumonia, which means more antibiotics, which may compromise her ability to fight the C.diff.

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I cannot boil an egg. For over a year now, I have struggled in boiling eggs, often ending up with pieces on my ceiling. This is ridiculous. I have been boiling eggs for decades, and now I suddenly cannot end up with anything other than heavily pitted and broken pieces of cooked eggs when I am finished. Three times I have tried to make deviled eggs for work potlucks. Three times I ended up with nary an egg to devil.

Some time ago, I learned B's husband G likes Pennsylvania Dutch pickled eggs, so I announced that I would make him some. That was back in February.

I went shopping, got out my pan, and was all ready to make them when B came and send her home with the jar full of those beautiful purple eggs--a tasty thank you to a man who has unconditionally welcomed me into his family for many years. But I discovered that my two-gallon jar was broken. [The ingredients (other than the eggs) have been sitting in a bag since then...mocking me.]

After much searching, I finally found a jar large enough to make the pickled eggs while on an errand with my boss. So tonight, partly because I am so frustrated with the office heat, the chronic pain, my father's diminishing faculties, my mother's illness, and my sibling's criticism, I set out to make those eggs.

Of the first two dozen eggs, only four survived. The pieces of two are on the ceiling. One is on the underside of the microwave. Kashi is trembling upstairs in the closet.

Determined to boil eggs, I Googled the process until I found a step-by-step method that seemed complicated enough to match my utter lack of egg boiling ability.

• 30 minutes of resting on the counter
  
• 6 minutes of bringing to a gentle boil
• 30 minutes of cooking in the heated water off the stove
• 30 minutes in an ice bath
• 10 minutes of resting back in the cold water after the shells have been cracked
• 30 minutes of careful peeling.

Right now, I am at the ice bath stage. Two of my last nine eggs burst while in the bringing-to-a-gentle-boil stage. I am fervently hoping the final eight survive.

Two expert chef notes of interest: It is best to lay eggs on their side for at least 8 hours to center the yolk. It is best to use eggs that are at least 10 days old (but not expired).

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D wrote me that it was important to feel loved, not just believe it. While the jury is out on that, I wonder if her bit of wisdom transfers to being alone...because while I know I am not, I sure feel that way.