After sleeping in the entire morning away, I spent the afternoon and early evening with Bettina, via Sprint and Skype!  We played Scrabble; she beat me handily the first game and I slaughtered her in return during the second game. In our games, we often play words for each other.  One Bettina played for me today was grieve.  When the second game was completed, she pulled out her copy of the Lutheran Service Book and we sang a few hymns.  Then, when I thought she needed to go because the children were up from their naps and dinner needed preparing, Bettina surprised me by switching to a video call.  She first asked me to entertain her children, so I read books to them.  Then, when her husband arrived home, she carted me (the laptop) to the table so that I could eat with them and enjoy their devotions afterward before they headed off to church.  All the while, I was lying on the couch in my pajamas, not moving much, but savoring the company.

Once alone again, I tackled a project Pastor asked of me.  A brother pastor of his created a piece on Advent that Pastor wants me to try my hand at turning into a booklet for his parishioners.  [I have noticed this generosity amongst confessional Lutheran pastors:  they oft readily hand over their writings for their brothers to use, in whole or part, more concerned that truth be shared than authorship retained with just one man.]  I have posted my draft of the cover.  You probably cannot see it but I have the Christ portion of the Nicene Creed watermarked behind the advent candles.  Inside, I used photos of stained glass windows and portions of Scripture as a divider of sorts between each section, sort of like a great big Selah for the reader...stop...pause...remember what Advent, what Christmas is all about.  I am fairly happy with the design of the booklet and how I chose to treat the interior content, but I have no clue as to what Pastor will think or if this really will be handed out to our congregation.  A year ago I created a pretty great booklet on prayer at Pastor's request, but it never went anywhere.  I half wonder if the source document on Advent won't just get handed out instead.  Still, I do not mind the work, even if it proves fruitless, for I relished the opportunity to at least try.  I also found reading the text of the handout rather informative. So, the assignment was quite beneficial for it kept my mind off other things, taught me something about my new confession, and afforded me an opportunity to be a wee bit creative. 

I finished my day with Walther, having finally moved beyond the fifth evening lecture.  While I did not finish the sixth one, much of he wrote has given me pause...troubled my waters something fierce to be honest.  Oh, how well, do I understand the terror of which he writes, the battle of David, of Peter, and of Luther...of Christians who have learned and can teach the proper distinction between Law and Gospel quite handily, but who struggle mightily to put that knowledge into practice in their own lives.  For me, this battle has become all the worse for the truth Pastor taught me last Saturday, for my longing to keep the world flat.

Below is a largish chunk of the sixth evening lecture.  I wonder if you will see what I did, if you will think differently about David and Peter...understand their lives, their faith more....

We read Ps. 51, 10.11:  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from They presence and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.

Here David prays God for a right (German: gewiss) spirit.  After his horrible fall, the shedding of innocent blood and the sin of adultery, David had lost assurance of divine grace.  Absolution was, indeed, pronounced to him when he had come to a penitent knowledge of his sin, but we do not hear that he forthwith became cheerful.  On the contrary, many of his psalms plainly show that he was in very great misery and affliction.  When the messenger of God approached him with the declaration:  "The Lord hath put away thy sin," his heart sighed, "Ah, no!  That is not possible; my sin has been too great."  We behold him watering his couch with his tears, Ps. 6,6, going about a bent and broken man, his body drying up like grass in the drought of summer.  This exalted royal prophet knew the doctrine of the Law and Gospel full well.  All his psalms are full of references to the distinction between the two.  But when he fell into sin himself, he lacked the practical ability of applying his knowledge.  He cried:  "Renew a right spirit within me."

It is a characteristic of Christians to regard the Scriptures as the true, infallible Word of God.  But when they are in need of comfort, they find none; they cry for mercy; they supplicate  God on their knees.  God made David taste the bitterness of sin.  In general, we behold David after his fall more frequently in sadness than in joyful spirits, and we see that one misfortune after the other befalls him.  God did not permit these misfortunes to afflict David because He had not forgiven his sin, but in order to keep him from falling into another sing.  It was nothing but love and mercy that  prompted God to act thus.  Naturally, a person still dead in sins thinks:  "Why was David so foolish to torment his mind with a sin that has been forgiven by God?"  A person reasoning thus makes of the Gospel a pillow for his carnal mind to rest on; he continues his sinful life and imagines that he will, after all, land in heaven.  His Gospel is a gospel for the flesh.

Luke 5,8 we have the cry of Peter:  Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.  Is not this a remarkable incident?  The Lord comes tot he disciple whom He had named Petros, a rock-man, and bids him and his fellow-fishermen, after an unsuccessful night on the lake, to drop their nets in deep water.  Peter complied, most likely expecting, however, that he would catch nothing.  But, lo! they caught such a multitude of fishes that their nets broke.  Now Peter is seized with fear.  He reflects:  "That must be the almighty God Himself who has spoken to me.  That must be my Maker.  He will one day be my Judge!"  He falls down at Jesus' knees and says:  "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord."  He expects the Lord to say to him:  "Look at the multitude of sins thou hast committed.  Thou are worthy of everlasting death and damnation."  Whence, then, came Peter's fright?  Why did he not thank Jesus when he fell down at His knees?  Because his many sins passed before his mind's eye, and in that condition it was impossible for him to express cheerful gratitude, but had to drop trembling to his knees and cry to his Lord and Savior those awful words:  "Depart from me, O Lord."  The devil had robbed him of all comfort and whispered to him that he must speak thus to Jesus.  Eh expected nothing else than to be slain by the Lord.  He was incapable of distinguishing Law and Gospel.  If he had been able to do this, he could have approached Jesus cheerfully, remembering that He had forgiven all his sins.  Many a time in his later life he probably said to himself:  "Peter, you were a great simpleton on that occasion.  Instead of what you did say to Jesus, you should have said:  O Lord, abide with me, for I am a sinful man."  That is what he did on a later occasion when he had fallen into another sin.  Then he was filled with joy unspeakable when Jesus gave him that look full of gracious compassion.

I John 3, 19.20 we read:  Hereby we know that we are of the truth and shall assure our hearts before Him.  For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knoweth all things.  When our heart does not condemn us, it is easy to distinguish Law and Gospel.  That is the sate of a Christian.  But he may get into a condition where his heart condemns him.  Do what he will, he cannot silence the accusing voice within.  It calls him again and gain, reminding him of former sins.  The recollection of some long-forgotten sin may suddenly start up in him, and he is seized with a terrible fright.  Now, if in that moment, a person can rightly divide Law and Gospel, he will fall at Jesus' feet and take care in Jesus' merit. That, however, is not easy.  One who is spiritually dead regards it as foolish to torment himself with former sins.  He becomes increasingly indifferent towards all sins.  A Christian, however, feels his sin and also the witness of his conscience against him.

But in the end, after Christians have learned to make the proper practical use of the distinction between the Law and the Gospel, they join St. John in saying:  "God is greater than my heart; He has rendered a different verdict on men's sinning, and that applies also to me."  Blessed are you if you have learned this difficult art.  If you have learned it, do not imagine yourselves perfect.  You will always be no more than beginners in this art.  Remember this:  When the Law condemns you, then immediately lay hold upon the Gospel.  

Since the days of the apostles there has not been a more glorious teacher of this art than Luther.  Yet he confesses that in an effort to reduce his teaching to practice he was often defeated.  In spite of the fact that he had led a decent life and was not guilty of gross sins, the devil often vexed him.  He tormented him with the sins of his inner life.  Nonplussed, Luther would often come to Bugenhagen, his confessor, with his worries and, kneeling, receive absolution, whereupon he would depart rejoicing.

Luther writes (St. L. Ed. IX, 806f):  "God has given us His Word in these tho forms:  the Law and the Gospel.  The one is from Him as well as the other; and to both He has attached a distinct order:  the Law is to require of every one perfect righteousness; the Gospel is to present gratis the righteousness demanded by the Law to those who have it not (that is, to all men).  Now, then, whoever has not satisfied the demands of the Law and is captive under sin and the power of death, let him turn to the Gospel.  Let him believe what is preached concerning Christ, viz., that He is verily the precious Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world, that He has reconciled man with His Father in heaven, and from pure grace, freely and for nothing, gives to all who believe this everlasting righteousness, everlasting life and bliss.  Let him cling solely to this message; let him call upon Christ, beseeching Him for grace and forgiveness of sin; and since this great gift is obtained by faith alone, let him firmly believe the message, and he shall receive according as he believes.

"This is the proper distinction, and, verily, it is of the utmost importance that it be correctly perceived.  O yes, we can readily make the distinction in words and preach about it, but to put it to use and reduce it to practice, that is a high art and not easily attained.  Papists and fanatics do not understand it at all.  I observe in my own case and that of others, who know how to talk about this distinction in the very best fashion, how difficult it is.  To talk about the Law's being a different word and doctrine from the Gospel, that is a common achievement, soon accomplished.  But to apply the distinction in our practical experience and to make this art operative, that is labor and sorrow." (The Proper Distinction Between Law and Gospel, 43-46)

Myrtle, you are a foolish child laboring in sorrow!  Would that I were not....