Bettina got the answer right!  She is getting a scripture reading!  [Hint, if you click on the photo, it will open as just a photo; if you click on it again, it will enlarge so that you can better add up the ladybugs!]

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Today was most particularly rough, whereby I wilted beneath the sharp side of my boss' tongue and ended up spewing my lunch.  Later, I also had a most trying time with my blood sugar, sweating, becoming addled and yet angry, and trembling like a leaf before it dawned upon me that I should consume some juice.  I was not able to leave until 7:30 for we were working under a deadline and my boss chose to disappear from 2:30 to 5:30 this afternoon.  There I was, shaking like a leaf, and she just ignored me.  What if I had just left the juice box in my bag and keeled over on her?  For shame, Myrtle!

I did, I believe, finish the redesign of the church newsletter.  Now, I will fret and stew and worry that folks will not find my changes as helpful as I intended them to be...many sections and shading so as to group information bit by bit.  And there is sure to be at least one glaring error, if not two.  Pastor was so exhausted when I called him to see if I might change the color of the cross on the front rather than print the cover on blue paper that I fear I twisted his arm into acquiescing.  Mostly, I needed him to double-check the last change.  Still, I really, really, really did not want to print it on color paper because it is not designed for color.  All the grayscale shading would actually not look very well.  Still, I must admit that I am so very happy that Pastor asked me to do this project, that I could actually do something for him and for my church.  Wow...my church!

I have a few miles to go on the Advent booklet and the Meditations on Prayer booklet is in sore need of a good edit.  All this work made me think of the Seven Words booklet that has been woefully neglected, so I went ahead and set it properly (I did it wrong the first time) and discovered it needed two more pages (booklets need to be increments of 4).  So, I added the passage of the crucifixion and the Lord's Prayer at the end.  Pastor has not cast his eyeballs across it yet, so I truly have no clue if that was a good idea or not.  Finally, Pizza Man had a most brilliant idea about turning Pastor's What is Prayer for the students at GMU, so I took a stab at designing something around what he was thinking.  All that work is good for one who feels the useless interloper.  All that work is good for one who has too many things on her mind.  However, all that work is a good excuse for staying up until the wee hours to avoid the quiet of the night and the thoughts that arise at that time.

Of course, all that work means that I have neglected Walther and Kleinig.  Given the thoughts concerning the sixth evening lecture that are still troubling my waters, I chose Kleinig.

I must say, Pastor gave me a great gift in this book.  Funny, I know he gave it to me for prayer, for that chapter it seems like I might get to in 2012.  But already I have read in wonder about receptive spirituality, such an apt summary of Objective Grace.  In the way that Luther spins out the spirit of the Law from it letter, Kleinig explores just what it means to be beggars before God.  Then, as you may have noticed, I thoroughly enjoyed reflecting upon the Shema and the fact that I do have God's Word written upon my forehead and what a mighty blessing that is to me...even in the times when I cannot remember it as such.  And...DEEP SIGH...Kleinig delves into the mystery of God.

Remember the last time I waxed poetically about being a steward of the mysteries of God? Well, he writes a beautifully succinct observation on just what makes a mystery most marvelously a mystery:  ...a mystery remains a mystery even when it is revealed.  In fact, the more you know about it, the more mysterious it becomes." (57) 

My beloved Bettina spoke with me this evening as she was beating me in Scrabble (this even with her brain addled by cold #2 of the season--she basically is sick from fall to spring with rather pesky colds) a wee bit about Lutheranism.  One of her comments was that she did not see, as a Protestant, that her faith was based on works.  At that moment, I wondered if I am too harsh here.  But at the same time I wanted to say that I hear works in your words all the time, so deeply do they run beneath the surface you do not even see them.  I barely do in my own.  But would that be a judgment?  She will read this, so I am not really avoiding the issue, but I know she does not condemn me for working out my thoughts here.  In fact, I do believe we have both, at times, spoken to each other through our blogs, though each writes for herself, when speech was not possible.

Apart from God's Word, they have no access to the risen Lord Jesus; they have no knowledge or experience of Him.  That Word initiates the believer into the mystery of Christ, something that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human heart has ever conceived (I Corinthians 2:6-10). (58)

Is that not the most amazing thought!  What a precious gift faith is, a gift that, thank goodness, does not depend wholly on me.  Were that so, I would not be here, would not have had the courage to persevere, to dare believe in something the world finds so very foolish and that is so very contradictory.  Science cannot measure, cannot assess, cannot fathom faith.  Oh, how we like to put God in a box, arrange His truths into rules and boundaries that make sense to us and that we can claim as done so as to ascribe some measure of holiness, godliness to our lives...by our labors, our sacrifices, our offerings.

Hebrews has been on my mind of late, both because the reading from last week was in this book and because I do believe I have been reading this one bit wrong all these years:

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus Christ the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.   ~Hebrews 4:14-16

Is that not a mystery in and of itself::  How can God be man?  And, being God, why would He ever endure being man?  How can He know every temptation and yet know not sin?

Every priest stands daily ministering and offering time after time the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins; but He, having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time, SAT DOWN AT THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD, waiting from that time onward UNTIL HIS ENEMIES BE MADE A FOOTSTOOL FOR HIS FEET. For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified.

And the Holy Spirit also testifies to us; for after saying,
 

"THIS IS THE COVENANT THAT I WILL MAKE WITH THEM
AFTER THOSE DAYS, SAYS THE LORD:
I WILL PUT MY LAWS UPON THEIR HEART,
AND ON THEIR MIND I WILL WRITE THEM,"
 

He then says,
 

"AND THEIR SINS AND THEIR LAWLESS DEEDS
I WILL REMEMBER NO MORE."

Now where there is forgiveness of these things, there is no longer any offering for sin.

Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. ~Hebrews 10:11-25

Did you see the two Sacraments in there? How about Objective Grace?  I cannot seem to cast my eyeballs anywhere these days without seeing baptism, the Lord's Supper and Objective Grace....

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~Hebrews 12:1-3

I wrote to Pastor about this the other day. There I was, minding my own business, when it hit me that this passage is not (I think) about Law, as I have been taught, but is, instead, about Gospel!  For, you see, the whole cloud of witnesses thing is sort of like shining your light.  You were to go out and give the GREAT WITNESS for Christ.   I was taught because we are to be an example to others we have to run with endurance...at which...of course...I fail miserably...so I have been condemning myself for YEARS about that whole passage and how miserable I fail at God's instruction.

HOWEVER...one of Pastor's hymns just popped into my head and I started thinking that cloud of witnesses does not mean those around me but the saints who've gone on before us, those at the alter with us, who are comrades in arms and maybe even the angels offering support and encouragment for all those fighting against satan with the Holy Spirit's help.

So, I believe that makes GOSPEL!  Because you are forgiven and brought into the Church and have the gifts of God poured out upon you in Word and Sacrament, then you are actually able to run with endurance...through the Holy Spirit...not of yourself, not by yourself.

Oh, my, has my world has shifted once again if I am right.  I mean, I have a t-shirt and everything about the whole Law interpretation (maybe I should wear it on Saturday!).  I spent a summer in boot camp learning how to be a better runner so that I could have a better witness and then enlarge my own faith.  I spent a summer as a camp counselor telling children that...argh!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

It is difficult for me to respond to Bettina's remark that God wants us to do good works.  Yes, we should do good works, but nothing we do is good.  That is what Pastor keeps slipping into his emails when I bewail my misery over not sending Gospel when I sent Law to my new friend.  I will never do good. I cannot.  But I am forgiven.  And what I do God will always use for good, for His plans and purposes.  My friend would be the first one to tell you that being utterly broken Sunday night was good for her.

Even so...even so, I struggle, for deep within me is this conditioning that I must do better, I must live in such a way as to become more godly.  Such is based on a false premise.  For if we are sinful creatures, then we cannot do good works apart from the cleansing waters of Holy Baptism, apart from the love and wisdom of the Holy Spirit.  If we are not sinful creatures, then Christ is only a fool who died a long time ago and good works do not really account from anything.

Only when I become the beggar, only when I learn to cry for mercy, will the mysteries of God be realized, not revealed, but realized in my life.  Yet even now, even with a sinful nature, I still serve as steward of the mysteries of God.  I still guard them and watch over them and give them great reverence in my life.

There is one line I most particularly like that Pastor has quoted before:  Just as Jesus brings the Father to us, so He also bring us to the Father (61).  Noodle on that a while...

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I had another email question I thought I would answer:  Why does your Pastor make recordings of hymns if he does not like how his voice sounds?

I am most confident, were he here, he would answer thus:  Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ~Colossians 3:16

Find a brother or sister in Christ and pour out His love for them in their lives.  Read aloud from the Living Word.  Raise your voice in song!  I would highly recommend you sing the following hymn:

We Praise You and Acknowledge You, O God

We praise You and acknowledge You, O God, to be the Lord,

The Father everlasting, by all the earth adored.

To You all angel powers cry aloud, the heavens sing,

The cherubim and seraphim their praises to You bring:

O holy, holy, holy Lord God of Sabaoth;

Your majesty and glory fill the heavens and the earth!

The band of the apostles in glory sing Your praise;

The fellowship of prophets their deathless voices raise.

The martyrs of Your kingdom, a great and noble throng,

Sing with the holy Church through-out all the world this song:

O all majestic Father, Your true and only Son,

And Holy Spirit, Comforter for ever Three in One!

You, Christ, are King of glory, the everlasting Son,

Yet You, with boundless love, sought to rescue ev'ry one;

You laid aside Your glory, were born of virgin's womb,

Were crucified for us and were placed into a tomb;

Then by Your resurrection You won for us reprieve--

You opened heaven's kingdom to all who would believe.

You sit in splendid glory, enthroned at God's right hand,

Upholding earth and heaven by fores You command.

We know that You will come as our Judge that final day,

So help Your servants You have redeemed by blood, we pray;

May we with saints be numbered where praises never end,

In glory everlasting, amen, O Lord, amen!

~Lutheran Service Book, 941