If you went to evening bible study again and, once again, for the now third time, only one question was covered, a question that was in the process of being skipped until you pointed it out because even though you had already jumped ahead and asked about in in your private lessoning you still struggled with the question, what would you think?  How would you feel?  Selfish?  The interloper?  As if you should never return?


Deep, troubled SIGH.

I did ask Pastor if he would pray with me afterward.  The incision on my back broken open again last night, bleeding through my pajamas and my sheets.  Not terribly dangerous, but very, very frustrating.  I haven't blogged about how it still burns and stings, how the scar is actually quite wide and if stretched from side to side width wise.  The scar on my right arm scabs over a bit and then begins to peel away; it is tender to the touch and bleeds a bit in the tiniest of spots from one of the suture holes.  It is as if they just cannot really heal.

He prayed for me, using the words I long to pray myself, and then gave me a blessing, which probably shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.  That moment was a good ending to a long, long day.

Today I got to teach for a third time!  I had the second and third grade classes (nine all together) at an elementary school.  And I must say that this time, my lessons were much, much better...more like what I had intended all along.  I miss teaching...oh, how I miss it!

Then, this afternoon, I had to sit and watch my boss take credit for a grant that I wrote and submitted on my own, aside from the financial data.  We were awarded 50K, twice the funding level I requested.  This came on the heels of a $75K grant award that began with my telling my boss about the opportunity.  Do you think that I will get one speck of credit for that $125K?

That is the product of my grant writing and yet today I was tasked with fetching lunch again...

Between early rising, the joy of teaching, the stress of asthma, the strain of discrediting, the sadness of derailment, I just cannot gather myself to study this evening, so I have been listening to my SIX new hymns for Sunday.  One tune I recognize, but keep trying to sing the words I know.  One tune rings so true that I already have that one down.  Only four more to go by Sunday!

I am blessed, so mightily blessed by a God who would craft the heart of an undershepherd who would care for me so...

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Note:  Someone helped himself to my county-furnished recycling bin.  Now, I have gotten so good at recycling things that I only put my trash container out about every 8-10 weeks.  I need that bin!