Sunshine called to tell me some news she knew would be important to me, and I faltered upon hearing something else behind her words. Perhaps I heard wrongly, but anguish still filled my heart and tears flowed. Sunshine, so aptly nicknamed, quickly spoke of Jesus and the hope she is certain I have in the Gospel, despite how often I stumble these days. The hope that encourages her to see in me. The hope she remembers for me when I have lost sight of the cross. Oh, how well she understands my longing for it!
How do I know this?
Without prompting, Sunshine offered to pray a Psalm for me. When she asked me to pick one, I gave her the choice, a departure for me since I usually have one in mind I am longing to hear...or two or three or four! Which one did she choose? Or, rather, which one did the Holy Spirit choose to pour over me? That dear woman prayed all of Psalm 119 for me, putting my name into the words of this prayer of longing for the strength, solace, comfort, and instruction of the Living Word.
A prayer she spoke aloud, a prayer my heart joined, a prayer Christ raised first...for me.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, means more to me and speaks more to me than the Living Word. Over and over and over again, I am humbled and awed by its power to still my heart, to bring peace in the midst of a great storm...despite even the obstacles of my own flesh. Would that it were I had it poured over me every day. Surely I would grow stronger. Surely I would know peace. Surely I would be able to bear this cross.
I read it aloud to myself all the blooming time, savoring the taste on my lips and the sound in my ears. Yet it is not the same as having it poured over me. Such riches. Such wonder.
What an utter, precious, merciful gift Christ gave to me through Sunshine this day. His timing, as always, was perfect. For in that prayer, He clung to me in a way I could understand, in a way I could take in, literally, saving me from drowning in the anguish and the confusion and the failure and the sin that has overwhelmed me this day.
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
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