If it were possible...

I didn't sleep until around 6:00 this morning.  I suppose that is an improvement.  Poor Amos, his internal clock is all messed up now!

I finally fell asleep and dreamed more of that frightening dream.  I suppose the truth is that I am bloody terrified of Wednesday.  I think...if it were possible...I would stop the earth from turning just to keep that day from arriving.

SIGH.

I did have a small spate of good news this day: my car insurance will now be just over $30 a month less, even though my deductible is now cut in half and I have towing!  When I moved here, my homeowner's insurance dropped me just weeks after arriving.  The inspector saw the door to the airing porch (the one without a railing) and deemed it an unacceptable risk.  He never asked me about it. If he had, I would have said the mortgage company required that the door be screwed shut (not just locked) for closing.  In desperation, I scrambled around trying to find a policy.  That is when I met Diedre.

She not only wrote me a policy, she wrote me a better, less expensive policy.  Then she turned around and did the same for my car insurance.  Combining the two saved more, but it is was not just the savings.  She worked hard to find me every discount possible and to tweak things here and there to balance out my needs.

Last week, when I realized I have drive just a couple thousand miles since moving here, I thought to call her and ask about my car insurance policy since I am not commuting.  Sure enough, when I finally remembered to call her, she found good savings for me, better coverage, and rated me as now qualifying for accident forgiveness.  And...she remembered me, my situation, and asked all sorts of questions about me, about how I was doing.  It seems silly to say...but I matter, as a person, to her.  It is strange being treated that way.  She offers more than good customer service.  She offers kindness and looks out for my best interest.

There was icing on this bit of cake, too.

She emailed me the forms to sign.  I printed them, signed them, and scanned them.  My older scanner just makes JPEGS, so I usually open them up in PhotoShop to convert them to PDF.  It is a bit of a process.  However, when I right-clicked on the JPEG file to open it in PhotoShop, I saw an option to convert to PDF.  One click and I was done!  Sounds easy, eh?  Well, I just discovered that I can actually have Acrobat use the scanner to create a PDF for me without the intermediate step of creating a JPEG first!

The mission I have been volunteering for upgraded my design software for me since I needed to do so with the new computer.  I didn't imagine how much easier some of the things I do would be with that gift.  Truly, Lutherans in Africa has been such a wonder to me, a place where even though I am the volunteer supposed to be helping them, I am the one showered with blessings.  Plus, it is so rewarding to be of some use, of some help to such a great ministry, especially at a time when I feel utterly useless and a terrible burden on the planet.

It is staggering, at times, to realize just how much God cares for us and how He goes about meeting our needs, feeding us, and bestowing mercy utilizing all His creation.

Creature.  I am a creature of God.  Creator, if you think about it, implies a certain responsibility, a certain oversight.  Only I am more than a creation of God. I am beloved. I  am a beloved creation, a beloved creature.  He holds not merely an obligatory view toward my well-being as His creation, but He longs for all the best for me as His beloved.  God's best.  My mind cannot even comprehend such a thought.

Is is strange...or wrong somehow...to think that the timing of that insurance phone call was perfect for me?  The thought crossed my mind a while ago--that I should check on my policy--yet I could not manage to follow through until today.  Until a day where a bit of  good news was so very much needed and would go a long, long way toward helping my weary, worried, wondering soul remember that I am the sheep of the Good Shepherd.  Dare I believe that God caused me to remember at such a time when such a kindness was needed most, when such a kindness would be magnified ten-fold in my eyes and mind and heart?


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!