Off with your head...

Would that it were someone would do this for me.  Alas, the only "offing" that took place was a foot of hair.  Yes, I lopped off my locks.

There are many, many reasons I could give you as to why I would never cut my hair.  But I did.  I whacked off a foot with an ease that surprised even me.

While my innards have been ever so much better since having the antibiotics, I am yet again battling nausea.  That spot on the back of my head has gotten worse.  And I am taking a medication that is helping me, but it is also making me ill every night.  That's two kinds of nausea.  Then there is the most awful of nausea when my blood pressure plummets from a veso vegal response.  At those time, I am trembling and dizzy and weak and nauseous.

Then, of course, Amos gets tangled in my hair.  And my hair gets caught in the pieces of wood I carry inside for my fires.  And the wind whips it about since I get nauseous so very quickly these days while wearing a barrette or even my braids. And the weight of it bothers that spot if up in a bun.

I wanted to stop fighting something. I wanted something to get better.  Anything.  So, I whacked it off.  Now, I can at least wear it down with out so much a mess and without so much of a tangle.  Doing so was, as I said, so much easier than I thought it would be.

The irony is that the new medication--I am fairly certain--has ceased it falling out.  In other words, since starting the medication, my hair stopped falling out.  Coincidence?  After two years, I think not.  Showers no longer distressed me.  Now, they will also be shorter.  So much less to wash and and so much less comb out with conditioner!

Saturday night/early Sunday morning, I was violently ill from about 3:00 AM until around 8:00 AM.  I dozed until around 12:30 or so and then dragged myself out of bed.  Last night, thinking that I would try and get some sleep,  I tried taking melatonin.  So many people swear by it. I forgot to look it up.  Yes, melatonin interacts with not one nor two, but three of my prescriptions.  From 11:00 PM until around 9:00 AM I was terribly nauseous and terribly groggy.  I dozed from 9:00 to 11:00, let Amos out, fed him, and crawled back in bed with him.  We dozed until 1:40, when I got up for my appointment.  Well, I dragged myself to and from my appointment, spending all my time there on the floor, still writhing about.

Now, thankfully, I am more clear-headed and the nausea has abated.  The interaction is wearing off.  Though, I will be tired still because since starting the new medication, I sleep just about 90 minutes at a time.  I sleep deeply, dream, then awake.  Over and over the cycle goes.  Since the medication does have other gains, I am sticking with it. I am sticking with the nightly nausea (yet another trigger for nausea). I am sticking with the interrupted sleep.  I am sticking with the process.

So, I lopped off my locks.  The way I saw it, if I had to take on yet another battle, I needed to stop fighting one. It was the only one I could really control, the only one that came to mind.

SIGH.  I do wish I could have kept my hair.  I am not sorry it is gone.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me.