Longing for the Light...

If you have any lingering trauma from reading Lord of the Flies,  I would highly recommend that you do not watch the new CW show "The 100."

Humans are really, really, really good at being cruel to each other.

I built a fire this afternoon, ever so discouraged by the blanket of snow that fell today.  No matter that no shoveling was involved and the ensuing rain melted away that blanket by the late afternoon.  Managing snow, or rather failing to manage snow, this winter is another reminder of how much help I truly need to remain independent, to remain in my home.  Christ be praised that Firewood Man is willing to plow, blow, and shove for a measly $10, but this winter had lots and lots and lots of $10 days that were not in my budget.

I used my beloved Zorb to refresh the kitchen rug once it was finally dry.

It smells heavenly.  Anyway, you sprinkle it on (shown above), work it into the carpet (I forgot to take that photo), let it sit for 30 minutes (or several hours if you happen to forget that you are actually working on your carpet), and then vacuum it all up.

So, the rather beautiful kitchen rug that my mother bought to finish off the renovation is back in place, safe and sound.  I was actually surprised how much less pleasant it is to wash dishes whilst standing on the bare tile floor.  This rug is really, really, really cushy.

My friend Celia took my mother's idea of a mechanical timer and turned it into a Myrtle-friendly reality.

Celia found this timer-on-a-rope option.  They come in several colors and have a magnet (as you may have surmised) on the back. Because it would be more comfortable hanging lower, I took it off the rope and put it on a lanyard.  I specifically chose this GREEN WWJD lanyard as a reminder of how silly works righteousness teaching is.  Sort of an inside-Myrtle's-head joke.  Although, I wonder if Lutherans are allowed to have such silliness even as a joke.

Anyway, Celia's thinking that, if I had a timer around my neck, I would not inadvertently forget it in the kitchen.  If that happened, remembering to set it when I temporarily leave the kitchen whenever I am working in there would do no good if I could not hear the timer when it rings.  I thought her idea was brilliant, and I bought this one at 12:01 AM on the 27th, when my next budget cycle began.

Putting the two long-term bills I had on the refrigerator using the Dallas Cowboy magnets that my friend Wynne bought me for my desk at work many years ago turned out to be a good idea.  You see, when I took this photo, I realized the payment date for my registration was now around the corner.  Since I am now in April's money, I went online to pay the bill, even though I still had more than a week to remember again.  By downloading the BMV app and using that to pay, I got a 5% discount on the bill.

The other star holds the payment coupons for the four tax installments that I need to send this year.  Those dates are in my calendar.  However, whilst I put up the registration bill last month, I forgot to put a reminder in my calendar.

In case you were wondering, I use the GREEN dry erase board to remind me of the fresh things I have in my refrigerator (when I buy them), so that I can eat them before they are wasted.

The fact that I flooded my own home is still weighing rather heavily upon my mind.  It is an overwhelming statement on the status of my mind, of my short-term memory.

Yesterday, Marie came to do her freezer cooking.  I asked her if she could carry the box fan up the two flights of stairs to put it back where I've been keeping it.  Thursday morning was the first day I no  longer smelled water in the utility closet, but I kept it running for another day.  For the final two days, I had it positioned so that the flow of air wrapped around the back of the freezer and came out the other side, working on making sure the corner was as dry as possible.

I found a set a stair treads that will fit my needs at a fair price.  So, eventually, I need to gird my loins, rip up the old treads, paint the stairs, and tack down the new treads.  I am greatly dreading what the utility bills will be, especially the water and the electricity (for all those loads of laundry).  I might need someone to just pay the water bill without me looking at it, so as to avoid that blow for as long as possible.

Tonight, I tried to soothe my fearful and anxious mind by cooking Beef Stew with Beer.  I actually do not need to cook.  Seriously, I might could manage not to cook for all of April, so slow going is the single person eating up all of the things I have been cooking.  I could argue, though, that there is only a single jar of stew left in the freezer.  Yes, but you would counter, Myrtle, you have chipotle chicken chili, spicy Dr Pepper pulled pork, Vietnamese chicken curry with sweet potatoes, Israeli chicken sofrito, and your black eyed pea medley in there.  That, I do.  But I needed to make some stew.

Too much has happened.
Too much fear.
Too much anxiety.
Too much failure.
Too much of new/old memories.
Too much physical maladies.
Too much.

Becky, my beloved friend, called tonight and read to me from the first chapter of John.  Whilst reading, she observed that the name of Jesus is not actually used until verse 17. I had never noticed that before.  I am too lost in the first five verses.


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!