Weary...

I've been thinking about the fact that, on Monday, I have to be on two different monitors and there will be a pacemaker rep, a cardiologist, a cardiologist nurse practitioner, and an emergency response team there whilst they do the MRI.  I mean, the radiologist genuinely believes my life is in danger, that I will die if I go through with this.

A part of me is worried that there might be something to all the hoopla.  And yet I know that my pacemaker has been used for years in Europe safely.  But.  But there is this part of me that thinks about my medical luck and I grow concerned.  Of all the things that could happen, the leads heating up and burning my heart muscle tissue seems likely.  After all, I got one of those wretched CSF headaches after the spinal tap and I still have tinnitus in my right ear from the headache.  SIGH.

Will I be alive on Tuesday??

I thought I would write about something that has been newly distressing:  my teeth.  Yes, I know.  I have written about them before.  What's new?  Pain.

SIGH.

My teeth have become incredibly sensitive.  I finally understand why my dear friend Becky does not want ice in her water.  Even water out of the refrigerator filter hurts.  I am surprised just how painful teeth sensitivity can be.

I am also have pain in my jaw and ... well ... would you say roots?  Or is that just jaw pain shooting up in my teeth?  Whatever it is, it hurts!

Sometimes, if I push on the area between the bottom of my teeth and my jaw, where the roots are, the pain gets a little better.  But mostly it just hurts!

It is possible to have neuropathic pain in your jaw and teeth, both of an idiopathic nature (without reason) or another iteration of the Trigeminal Neuralgia that plagues my body.  Those flares have also started happening in my tongue, which is new.  So, perhaps.

What worries me is that this is simply another iteration of Sjögren's ravaging my teeth.  I worry that when I have my next x-rays at the end of February, they will be full of black teeth that have gone straight from needing fillings to needing root canals.  On. Every. Tooth.

The only part that helps my worry, my concern, my fear is that the pain is not always in the same location.  It has happened in many spots. For example, last night it was primarily on the left front.  Right now, it is flaring on the right side, in the front on the bottom and in the center on the top.  In fact, right this very, very second, the molar on the bottom right is KILLING ME.  The worst pain yet.  

I am weary of pain, really, really weary.