Think on me...

I had the most horrific dream of my life early this morning.

I often dream in what I call chapters.  By this I mean, I often dream, wake, and then go back into the dream to continue the "story."  Often, they are nightmares or even night terrors that I have no interest in continuing.  I will beg God to help me, but I usually fall back into the same dream.  Again.  And again.

I was bound and determined never to sleep again this morning.  But exhaustion overrode that resolve and left me falling asleep once more.  I was blessed not to return to that nightmare.

It bothers me, immensely, what my mind churns out as dreams.  I mean, some of them are so sick and twisted and horrifying that I cannot believe that they came from me.  Why would I torture myself that way?

This was another dream about abuse, but it was worse.  Far, far, far worse than anything I have dreamed.  It felled me and continues to do so whenever my mind stills.  SIGH.

I long for a thought to replace the memory of that dream.  I long for a place to go where I am safe and heard and believed.  I long for freedom from my mind ... even if for just once night.

Becky posted the words to my favorite hymn, "Lord Jesus, Think On Me," in response to my post on Facebook about the dream.  She doesn't know yet, but I have been thinking about creating another one of those laminated cards.   This time, I would like to have the lyrics to the hymn on one side, and some idea of what I should put on the other.  I am leaning toward John 1:1-5

Lord Jesus, think on me and purge away my sin; from worldly passions set me free and make me pure within. 

Lord Jesus, think on me, by anxious thoughts oppressed; let me your loving servant be and taste your promised rest.

Lord Jesus, think on me amid the battle’s strife; in all my pain and misery, O be my health and life!

Lord Jesus, think on me nor let me go astray; through darkness and perplexity point out your chosen way.

Lord Jesus, think on me that, when this life is past, I may the eternal brightness see and share your joy at last.

I've said it before and I will say it again, this is the most perfect of hymns for me.  It reads almost as if the author wrote it for me.  I wish I could do more fofrffthose just now And I just now discovered it, how well the helped me battle 

Yes, that is what I just typed.  I lost where I was going and ended up nowhere.  What is a fofrffthose?  SIGH.

Anyway, Becky's post of the lyrics warmed the cockles of my heart and told me that she was hearing me!  Those verses read more like a prayer than a song.  And it is one that I long to have prayed over me.  Again and again and again. 

I wanted Him to think on me this early morning.  

To step into my battle and help me.