I have been waiting all week to take this one small pill. It is a muscle relaxer. My metabolism is so slow, though, that I can only take one when I do not have to work for two days. Cough syrup with codeine, pain killers, muscle relaxers, antihistamines...anything that makes you drowsy...well, one dose makes me woosey for nearly two days. Not until the evening of the second day do I finally feel free of that drugged feeling.

I have been waiting all week because I have been in a lot of pain. Had I a friend here or company, I would have long ago pressed them into a back massage to see if it would help. A new ache has been the right joint of my jaw. My knee hurts and my hip hurts because I am too tired. Both keep giving way. I am too tired because I am not sleeping well. I am not sleeping well because I hurt.

Also...because I am fretting over work. Not fearful, not worried, but utterly weary of the battle.

And because my friend hurt my feelings for the first time. Words have an impact that few truly understand. Words can be so very powerful. Never did I think to hear such words from her. I tried to skip over them, but lying in bed I hear them again and again...I wonder about my own words and wonder if I have ever done the same to her without thought.

I began the day with an asthma attack. To awaken abruptly, coughing and unable to catch your breath is quite alarming. The struggle did not end with the nebulizer treatment. If not with breathing, then it is with work.

My boss is embattled and walking such a thin line. I can do little to help her and find myself adding to her burden when I fail to remain silent about the situation at work even when I want to be brave and courageous and continue to push that blasted bolder up the hill for yet another day.

We are both weary.

We both hurt.

Tonight...I am thankful for the weekend to retreat, to rest, to take respite, to have time to remember what is good and true and without repute...and...of course...I am thankful for Flexeril.