A good steward...

With Medicare costs rising so very high, although I should not have to pay the increase in premiums, I am even more committed to working on trying to reduce my living to 80% of the disability payment in anticipation of the fund going insolvent just about a year from now.  I work and work and work on saving and on cutting expenses.

However, I do feel as if all I have done of late is acquire things.  It is a bit disconcerting for me.

For example, I was a bit ashamed at wearing a hoodie to the chamber performance of the symphony, even if I did have a pretty flowy skirt on as well.  It struck me that if I wore a jean jacket with my flowy skirts, I could be comfortable and a bit more ... well ... maybe, possibly stylish.  I used to own a jean jacket, but it somehow got lost over the years.  Given that I am still wearing clothes from over thirty years ago, that is a bit surprising.  So, I went to eBay to see what I could find.  In short order, I bought a men's Levi jean jacket in pristine condition for a mere $10.  Men's so that it would not constrict my always tender abdomen.

I wore it to counseling today, and then afterwards to fetch prescriptions (and a few groceries).  Whilst at Target, six different folk commented on my outfit.  I guess I was right about the lack of a hoodie being a better choice.

I have also been making some purchases to get ready for having an additional seven people in the house this winter, such as replacing the bedding for the beds in the solarium.  As an adult, nearly all of the items in my kitchen have been hand-me-downs from my grandmother and my mother.  The first real purchase of my own was still a joint one, between my mother and my brother and myself ... spending several years building up my Henkel's knife collection.  [They are 20 years old and still amaze me with their precision.]

My dishes set is many years old, some mustard dishes that I found at Walmart.  My glasses set are a bit newer, a set I found at Target.  Originally, I bought a set of 12 of both, but I found each, a long while later, on clearance.  So I have dishwater for 16.

When I started cooking nearly two years ago to help reduce the digestive problems I had from processed foods due to the autonomic malfunction of my innards, I finally bought cookware, only Amazon ended up crediting me for the set.  I have really enjoyed the pots and pans, although it absolutely amazes me, still, that I have new ones to use, instead of pots many, many decades old.  I do still use my grandmother's aluminum pans for anything that I am not cooking on the stoneware.  I wish I had a daughter to pass them down to ... when the time comes.

My flatware is my grandmother's.  I do not remember why I just have part of it.  I have just 5 place settings, plus many strays.  I even have a knife that got left at my house somewhere along the way.  Being low on flatware, I never minded the odd one out.  Since I cannot use metal forks or spoons without solely tasting the metal, my use of plastic ones means that, for the most part, the lack of flatware isn't really a problem.  It does mean that when anyone is here, I have to do a lot of flatware hand washing.  With the hoard descending upon me, one of my purchase goals was to get some flatware.

My issue with flatware is that the quality stuff is sooooooo very expensive.  The economical stuff, even in department stores, just is not made well.  Every time in the past I have though about buying a set, I always end up dissatisfied.  My grandmother's flatware from the sixties, Japanese, is rather lovely stuff to me.  I have looked for more of it for years, but have never found it.  I have found other Cosmos patterns, but not hers.

Since inviting everyone here this past May, I started searching for a pattern that I would like on eBay, limiting my search to vintage Japanese flatware.  Finally ... finally ... I found a pattern that I thought might work.  It is not a Cosmos one, but is Cortina Fleur de Lis.  The reason that it stood out to me is that part of our family history is from France and my mother has a pair of stained glass windows (moved from house to house to house) with a fleur de lis pattern.

After pricing things for a few weeks, I bit the bullet and bought two sets of 8 place settings (with two butter knives and one sugar spoon added in to one batch), thrilled that I could get all of the place settings I wanted in just two purchases.  So, my dishware, flatware, and glassware all match in number.  The lighting is a bit odd, so it looks like I chose the black accented ones, but I chose the plain ones.  I have had them since Friday and I am still amazed whenever I open the flatware drawer and see such abundance.  No more hand washing forks, knives, and spoons for me!!

I feel really good about the purchase, on one hand.  I like that I am using flatware that others might have thrown away.  I believe the cost was rather great, especially for the quality.  And it ... means something ... to me to have a pattern that harkens a bit of family history.  However, with every purchase I have made in the past year, I worry ... greatly ... about trying to live on 80% of disability.  Translate that:  I feel much financial guilt.

Am I being a good steward?
Am I leveraging the resources I have been given to the best degree possible?
Am I limiting any "want" purchases to my best ability?
Have I sold as much as I possibly could of the things that I am not actively using or need?
Am I pursing every economy of scale possible?
Am I saving as much as possible?
Am I re-evaluating my budget in a timely manner?

SIGH.

You know, I very much wish to purchase some vanilla paste for cooking.  However, I think it is the least economical item thus far in my cooking endeavors.  Does someone on such a tight budget have any business buying vanilla paste???  Oh, how the financial questions haunt me!

But I feel so empowered by my FROG ring and my GREEN flower headband.  I really enjoyed wearing the jean jacket and can think of all sorts of combinations with my flowy skirts and tops.  The NutriBullet has been such a blessing, with more than the smoothies.  The sight of the flatware brings such relief thinking of the upcoming visit.  And, frankly, even if I didn't have folk coming, I am glad that the old bedding has been replaced.  The sheets on the beds date back from when I was in junior high school, and the damage to the spreads did bother me (especially with Amos working on pulling out the batting).  And, frankly, Amos is so enamored with his latest baby, even if he already had ... well, more than I care to admit.

For once, my forgetting is working in my favor; I cannot remember my other acquisitions this year!

SIGH.

The other day, I was having a rather firm discussion with Amos about cutting his nails when I realized that the nail clippers I was using are over 19 years old.  Surely it would not be extravagant to purchase another pair or to get a fresh blade (if that was possible), right?  Why agonize over such a small purchase?

SIGH.

You know ... Amos was not economical.  But, boy, has he ever turned out to be an incredible investment!