I worked 10 hours today, plowing through a multitude of tasks that needed doing so because I am to have Holy Week off of work.  Yes, you read that right.  No work!  No work for an entire week and it is not costing me a single vacation day because I have so much comp time.

Having gained the time off, I have spent the past week reminding my boss in no uncertain terms that I shall not be checking email once I departed this evening until I walk through the doors again Monday week.  She kept telling me that was okay.  I am certain I shall not be able to achieve such a goal.

While I started trying to wind down, at 5:00 in the hopes of a decent departure, the 3 tasks I was given today turned into 11. 

For the past few weeks, I gone from one rush job to another, cranking out a prodigious amount of collateral and reports and charts and planning documents.  Much of what I am doing is not actually my work.  In fact, during a four-hour meeting one day this week, I found myself generating a volunteer management plan for our signature event.  While this is needed, we have a volunteer manager!  You would think that she would be the one tasked with such a behemoth.  But, no, just have Myrtle do it is my boss' MO.  This I struggle with the most, second to turning the other cheek.

I frankly resent how often I have to do the work that would naturally fall to another department because my boss thinks it would be better if we (meaning I) just took care of it.  When it comes to budget and financial document information, I am truly nervous about doing such.  With this project, I was just plain livid.  There was no reason under the sun why the volunteer manager could not join our meeting and guide us through the process.  It is not that she will get credit for my work.  It is that I have too much to do and am exhausted from working non-stop, accomplishing more than at least two of the other members of our department combined.  And, truth be told, I watch the volunteer manager spend copious amounts of time chatting it up with her friend from accounting and with her other department folk.  My boss grows truly angry when I go to the bathroom or dare actually take a lunch.

Normally, I can swallow this, but working as hard as I have been makes doing so seemingly impossible.

The sad part is, after Holy Week, I shall have two solid months of craziness as we head into this signature event.  You should start planning and working on your signature event 12 months out.  While some things were done, a decision to proceed came so late in the game that we are essentially doing all that needs doing for this in a mere 3 months.

I have told myself that no matter what may come, I am leaving at 7:00 each evening and I am going to Wednesday evening prayer service.  Strangely, my boss has started checking with me to see what time I have to go to church.  But I am fairly certain she believes this will stop with Lent.  I want that boundary to remain.  After all, the office is essentially closed at 5:00, officially at 6:00.  Is not 7:00 a reasonable line to draw in the sand?

Yesterday and today, I have pushed back at her more than I ever have, unable to keep my frustration in check.  In fact, I have been in a countdown to this evening since Wednesday morning.  Just three more days.  Two.  A few hours.  I wish to have this break.

While my plan was to spend it in the bosom of Bettina's family, I shall be remaining home.  So, I now plan to get out of my pajamas exactly four times:  Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, The Great Vigil, and the Resurrection of our Lord.  Okay five times.

I did have a moment of sheer joy today:

In my struggle to understand Lent, I read through the booklet on Advent I did for Pastor D, based on Pastor C's handout.  At the time, I had suggested Pastor D mail a copy of the booklet to Pastor C.  After all, they were friends and I did not know the man.  I knew he would forget.  But last week, after meditating on the Advent booklet for awhile, I decided I would ferret out Pastor C's church and drop a copy in the mail to him.  At the bottom of the card I sent him, I added my email as an afterthought.  I am glad I did!

Today, I received an email with effusive praise for the wondrous work I did on his poor handout and asking me if I might consider collaborating more.  Would I consider.  Yes!

So hungry I am to help, I tendered a suggestion for three more booklets than the two he mentioned to me.  Pretty brash, eh?  Besides, think of all the wonderful things I would surely learn from him!

All day long, as I was struggling through the turmoil at work, I kept thinking:  I am not a Christian because of my faith in Christ.  I am a Christian because of Christ.

Such joy, even though my struggles still remain.


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!