NOTE: Never, ever, ever, ever do anything while you are angry. You will only end up making things worse.

I got out the sealing pitch to try and cover all the twisted, broken, and exposed places on the privet. Then, after thinking on the whole matter, I thought I would go ahead and try to effect a fence repair that has been on my mind for a long time.

You see, the privet had grown up between the fence and was pushing one pole over quite badly, pulling on the entire fence from that point. I decided to pull the long pole out of the top of the fence, push the leaning post back over, and re-thread the pole back through the errant post and all the others along that side of the fence.

It was a good plan...just rotten timing.

Now, I thought my ire might actually help me gather the strength to maneuver the pole. I was right. However, I did not take into account the fact that the tar-based pitch would still be quite wet. When I reached out to use the privet as leverage to help push the post back into place, I ended up with my hand covered in the pitch.

For the record, soap, dishwashing detergent, 409, Windex, and Comet do not remove the stuff. However, as my friend noted during a desperate call for advice, mineral oil seems to help. After five rounds of olive oil (the only "oil" I have on hand) and comet thrown in for good measure, I was finally able to end up with just a faintly dark palm. I think the rest will fade in a few more washings.