I thought I should admit that I got an answer from the physical therapy. It just wasn't one I wanted.

After far too many of the torture sessions, I stopped going once the original therapist I was seeing left for another clinic. I was planning to try another therapist, but then all the bills were rejected by the insurance company. I was overwhelmed by the total sum wanted by the clinic and the rounds of phone calls with the insurance company. It admitted that I did indeed go to a clinic that was on a list of authorized facilities, but still the bills were not resolved...nor have them been to date.

I stopped primarily because I am absolutely convinced that traction was the worst option for me. It made my back far worse and the time I spent in the machine was so painful I could barely keep from crying out. I have a very high threshold for pain. Trust me, it was bad.

MS pain is varied and oft strange. For example, one type of pain is called girth pain. It is a pressure pain, as if a band is being squeezed about the part of you that is hurting. If you don't understand the pain, I just don't think you can treat it properly.

But I must acknowledge that it was the therapist who discovered that my abdominal muscles were absolutely "quiet." That is to say they just were not working, affecting my back and my legs.

Although I quit the therapy, I did not cease the abdominal exercises the therapist laid out for me save for the week in March when I was off from work and ended up sleeping round the clock much of the time. She even taught me some exercises I can do in bed.

I hate them. They hurt. I already hurt every day. Why in the world would I continue something that hurts as well?

I do because she was right in that if my abdominal muscles could work even some better, my back would be better. I can sit longer without pain. I can stand longer without pain. I still grow tired equally quickly, but the pain in my lower back does not.

Exercising is horrible because of the muscular weakness. I start trembling immediately. I go to failure after just a few repetitions. Breathing becomes difficult. I get dizzy with all that movement. Exercising my stomach muscles makes my back seize up in excruciating pain after a while. Strange, the latter. But I can sit and stand longer without pain. I can and that is enough to keep me trying....