I fell nine times today at work. Frankly, it should have been at least twice that number.

This morning, I awoke so dizzy that I could barely walk. I have been getting up at 7:00 for the church's morning service, though I have not logged on to the website. After I was finished, I crawled back upstairs and climbed into bed. I tried to awake at 9:00, but could not steady myself on my feet enough to get ready for work for another hour. I prayed the whole way to the office.

Just an hour and a half later, I did not think I could make it through the day, so dizzy was I. We have a large event in just 9 days, and much of the work lies on my shoulders. Unless I was dead, my boss would have just killed me for going home. Hour by hour, one task at a time, I worked through my list for the day, trying very hard to keep my head still, move slowly, and walk as little as possible. I also had a crushing headache, so I took a pain reliever. One of the women at work insisted that I drink some juice and eat some protein, but I tried to tell her that that was not what I was feeling.

When my blood sugar plummets, I grow strangely hollow, shaky, and confused. It is as if the world begins to fade away or as if I am sitting on the bottom of a pool and trying to see through the water above me. Today, I spent much of the day feeling as if I were standing on the deck of a ship at sea during a violent storm. Or perhaps it is better to say that I felt as if I just stepped off a playground merry-go-round after spinning on it wildly. I do not know why. I have never felt this way before...not like the world-shifting-abruptly dizziness of MS at all.

I am home, huddled on the couch, trying to muster up the energy to draft a press release--my final task for the day. When I made my way up the front sidewalk, I had to close my eyes against the sight of the grass. It needs to be mowed. Can you imagine what would happen if I tried to do that right now?

SIGH

I did read some when I arrived home:

First, back to the beginning:

While in my dogmatic lectures I aim to ground you in every doctrine and make you certain of it, I have designed these evening lectures on Fridays for making you really practical theologians. I wish to talk the Christian doctrine into your very hearts, enabling you in your future calling to come forward as living witnesses with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power. I do not want you to stand in your pulpits like lifeless statues, but to speak with confidence and with cheerful courage to offer help where help is needed. (5)

I am certainly enjoying the practicality! Can you tell? I know that this is digressing, but I'd like to continue with another bit from the beginning:

Rom. 2,14.15 we read: When the Gentiles, which have not the Law, do by nature the things contained in the Law, these, having not the Law are a law unto themselves; which show the work of the Law written on their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another. Here we have the apostle's testimony that even the blind pagans bear the Moral Law with them in their heart and conscience. No supernatural revelation was needed to inform them concerning the Moral Law. The Ten Commandments were published only for the purpose of bringing out in bold outline the dulled script of the original Law written on men's hearts. (8) [emphasis mine]

Now, just a short while ago I was trying to talk with Pastor about this very subject, but he was not following me. I was delighted, therefore, to find this teaching here. Yes, the writer in me really, really enjoyed the craftsmanship of the last sentence, but I also appreciate the point behind it.

In part, I enjoyed this point because it explains how I feel about Luther's teaching about the Ten Commandments. He unravels the heart of them so very thoroughly until you have no other conclusion that you can never, ever uphold them, that Jesus Christ is the only One who can. Even as I am crushed by how very sinful I am, how much more so do I understand that wretched truth, I appreciate more fully Christ's willingness to fulfill them for me when the price He had to pay in order to do so was so terrible.

Yes, my heart's script has been dulled by the compromise of our world, by the means-justifies-the-end mentality that has so completely permeated every facet of our society, from work to church to hearth.

I am thankful, therefore, for the sharpening of Luther's keen insight and the earnest passion with which he taught us all. I am thankful that Pastor cared enough to give me the Book of Concord.

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Remember that visit by Washington Gas? Well, last month's bill was -$4.81 and this month's is $4.75. While I appreciate the lower bills given all that I have spent with doctors of late, I am quite confident that one of these days I'm going to get hit with a whopper because Washington Gas finally figured out that their "fix" actually needs to be repaired.

Either that or the THOUSANDS of dollars that I spent over the past seven winters were the "error."

SIGH.

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Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Godmother!
Happy Birthday to you!