It was with true sadness that I realized tonight I will no longer have the blessing of a two-bible-study day. The nooner has been switched to Mondays. The switch will actually make it easier for me to slip away from my job for such a rich spiritual meal. However, I believe the days I have had both a nooner and an evening study have been truly beneficial. I shall miss them.

Tonight's study, while illuminating for its content, bothers me somewhat, despite Pastor's assurance otherwise. You see, the evening studies always begin with Ask the Pastor. Now, being the absolute social misfit, I have consistently avoided those times. However, sitting behind my desk today, wondering just how much access I would have to teaching now that I am "done" since Pastor is starting grad school on top of his other duties, I thought it was high time to take advantage of this opportunity instead of fretting about actually having to socialize with my fellow study mates.

So, I arrived just after the hour, Book of Concord in hand. You see, I have a plethora of sticky note questions just waiting for his instruction. And we still have yet to go through Luther's Large Catechism on the Lord's Prayer. I have a whole passel of questions on prayer alone.

I will say, in my admittedly insecure opinion, Pastor did not seem too welcoming of my questions. He never did fetch his bible from the room where we have the bible study and didn't seem much interested in the copy of the Book of Concord the host handed him. Despite this utter lack of encouragement, I plowed ahead. I want my questions answered!

Now, if I were to have him post here, I am quite sure that Pastor would be shouting down my impression with great protestations about how he was merely frustrated because the answers to my questions did not come readily to his lips. In any case, the half hour mark passed and it was time for bible study. Alas, even there we only managed to get through one question.

Yes, I am the reason, by far, that such occurred.

First, there was a translation issue. [Don't you think there is a difference between "every creature" and "everything created"?] Then there was my question about the opening paragraph. Then there was my question about the first question. Now, there was another woman who assumed the questioner role for, perhaps, the second half of the study. Yet I feel as if my questions troubled her waters enough to make her continue to pull us off course.

Pastor assured us all that he would much rather plow through our study at a snail's pace and answer the questions we have on our minds than finish efficiently and leave us hungry. A kind and sound approach, I believe.

Still, I do ponder how differently the bible study, the whole evening in fact, would have gone had I left my questions, and my person, at home.

That's me, hungry for teaching, but ever so quick to feel as if even that is a burden.

SIGH.

I did bring copies of the Prayer for Wednesday from the Treasury of Daily Prayer to ask if we could read it together. We did. Praying it corporately is different than praying it privately...something that I savored. Hearing Pastor read the last part, emphasizing each title, each truth about who God is, well, it was as if a host of angels were speaking with him, adding the depth and richness of His glory to our prayer.

Holy Lord God, holy and mighty God, holy and most merciful Redeemer; God eternal, leave us not to bitter death. Lord, have mercy.

Holy Lord God, holy and mighty God, holy and most merciful Redeemer; God eternal, allow us not to lose hope in the face of death and hell. Lord, have mercy.

Holy Lord God, holy and mighty God, holy and most merciful Redeemer; God eternal, keep us steadfast in the true faith. Lord, have mercy. Amen.