Constant companion...

Thursday's headache has never left.  So much does it love me that I now have a migraine headache for the first time.  Sandra suggested ice packs to my head, since all the medication is not helping.  In fact, the Excedrin Migraine has a high dose of caffeine that I did not notice.  A theophylline and caffeine reaction on top of a migraine...well, I am not rising to the occasion in being gracious about all this suffering.

Sandra sent over some ice and some re-freezable packs.  The ice does help sort of keep my utter desperation at bay.  I was near ready to shave my head and find the nearest guillotine this morning (Saturday morning).  I do wonder if I could just freeze my brain directly.

Of course, I shall be calling the surgeon on Monday...if I survive until then...to ask what to do.  She did not want me changing doses until the end of the pack and she did not want me just stopping the pack.  However, I am now between that proverbial rock and a hard place.

The thing that is very, very hard to swallow in all of this is that the estrogen is making such a tremendous difference in both the wild mood swings and my daily outlook.  No longer do I feel quite the hostage in my own body.  It is rather hard to explain.  The adjective that I have been using is "settled," but that is not quite enough.  Even with the abject misery, a new low for me even with all that I have experienced, I don't want to give up the medication.

I also cannot continue much longer with the pain in my head, the throbbing behind my eyes, the way light and sound have become my enemy, too, and the nausea.  Truth be told, breathing is a tad...off...after taking the Loestrin for a while, but I cannot see how that could possibly be connected.  Except...the problem eases by morning.

And, well, I am still bleeding and am still in pain.  Stupid biopsy.  I told those tissue samples they had darn well better be normal.  I am not equipped to deal with anything else medical at this time.  Or...for that matter...anything else at all.

SIGH.

What to know something slightly humorous?  Friday morning Amos' and my head briefly occupied the same space.  My beloved puppy dog gave me the tiniest black eye.  The bruise is small, but boy, oh, boy does my orbital bone still protest life.  I wonder if his head still hurts...or if he is a tougher creature than I.

Off to down more Ginger ale and get more ice for my pack.  Does anyone know why my ice cubes are shattering as I empty the tray instead of remaining whole?  The pack would last longer if it were not merely comprised of shards.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!