Thursday, December 29, 2011
The problem with orange sweet rolls...
The problem with orange sweet rolls as a coping mechanism against the abject loneliness of a holiday season when all around you are wrapped up in their own families, highlighting your own loneliness, is that when you cook said orange sweet roll being alone means that you are the only one to eat all eight of them. And, if you happen to be the sort of person who somehow lost every bit of will power she once possessed, that means eating all eight of them will make you ill, plummet your blood sugar, and leave you feeling even more lonely as you huddle on the floor before the refrigerator, shoving protein and sugar in your mouth as you wait for the sweating and tremors and weakness and anxiety to pass.
Ding Dongs, it turns out, actually do make a better coping mechanism. You see, Hostess must have some inkling of sympathy for folk who misplaced their will power because the company individually wraps each and every Ding Dong, making gluttony more difficult as one has to work harder at eating a second and a third or even a fourth one. Orange sweet rolls just sit there in the pan, calling out for consumption as they begin to grow cold and harden the longer they are out of the oven because they know they are lose more and more of their awesomeness every minute that passes.
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6 comments:
My dear Myrtle, I will have you know that I literally ate candy yesterday until my head was swimming & I was quite sick. So, um, not that friendships should be built on vices, but you may certainly consider this a big ol' "I hear ya" on lacking willpower against edibles. Seriously. You would have laughed at the severe mound of tootsie candy wrappers no longer left from Halloween. And I hit that cuz I went through my Christmas candy. Sigh.
Don't worry. I'm dumb enough that I bought some lemonheads when I was at Walmart last night.
Sending my love! And OUR love! Elizabeth got some big colored pencils for Christmas & while drumming with them & calling them drum sticks she asked if they were from you. :) She has such fondness for you.
Oh, I have fondness for your cherubs, too! I am secretly hoping Ned is suddenly finding himself in need of venturing back to the seminary. However, knowing that would be a long trip and a disruption to the tending of his flock, I do not really hope for such a thing. I am looking forward to the next time the Moerbes are in need of a bed and breakfast!
Thank you for the empathy and utter lack of admonition! I am in sore need of some will power, but it is nice to know--really, really, really nice--I am not alone in such weakness.
Alas, though, as you will soon read, that very well may have been my last hurrah...if you do not count today's act of defiance or act of farewell...depending on how one views it.
Lovely Gitte sent me this most spectacular European chocolate for Christmas. You know, the kind that is so amazing you need to savor it and linger over it and keep it around as long as possible? Well, it was gone by the next day. SIGH. Good stuff though. And, actually, the dark chocolate pieces are still here since I need to find a taker for them.
I would have commented on this post sooner, but first I had to finish off three Terry's Chocolate Oranges, half a Rum Cake (okay, 3/4 a Rum Cake), a platter of fudge, 8 peppermint sticks, a baked ham (bone-in, so it really wasn't that much), a can of cashews (20 ounces), three Pillsbury Orange rolls left from breakfast along with four or five slices of livermush and six strips of bacon, a Taco Bell Super Beef and Bean Burrito that had somehow been forgotten at the back of the fridge, and half a two-liter bottle of diet Coke. I feel perfectly fine. I don't know what's wrong with you two!
Ah, Dolph! That rum cake reference was a low, low blow. I sure hope that when you all come a visitin' that you guys pack a rum cake or two!
Do all Railroad Drifters have such cast iron stomachs?
The entire binge, down to the last goodie, was completely and utterly fabricated, Myrtle. Unlike yours and Mary's. :-)
Silly Livermush Lush, I know that! However, I still expect the Abernethys to bring me a rum cake when they come! It has been entirely too, too long since I have had rum cake. SIGH.
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