Bones are still crunching, but Tiger Woods came through on another decisive-leave-the-rest-of-the-field-behind-in-the-dust victory.

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I had a wonderful meal with just G_ and F_, away from the kids and filled with sublime food and good conversation. I truly cherish the time that I get to spend with the whole of my writing student's family and genuinely believe that everyone should have a P_ family in their lives, but I was craving some time with just the two of them that was not marked by interruptions by the kids or feelings that we are somehow ignoring them if we become engrossed in an "adult" conversation. I was just craving some "adult" time, especially since I find them both to be highly intelligent, engaging, and interesting folk.

I shaved my legs and washed my hair. I wore lipstick and perfume. I dressed in a skirt and a beautiful white blouse with flowing sleeves and much lace. I wore hose and nice shoes...ones I even polished before hand. I even treated myself to a new pair of contacts. After seven weeks of practically living in either my pajamas or t-shirts and cotton pants (and the same contact lenses), I enjoyed just getting ready to go out of my house. Even with all this preparation and anticipation, the meal was, in short, everything that I wanted it to be.

K_ can take a half hour to answer a simple question, educating you far beyond any professor could on all manner of things that you never knew you didn't know. G_ smiles at her husband when he does so, commiserating in the experience. And yet, when she smiles, which is a rather beautiful smile, you get a glimpse of the love between the two of them, of this couple that came together in Christ and built this amazing family.

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I also spoke with my best friend W_ this evening. She had a list a mile long of things to accomplish around the house this weekend, and I wanted to know if she did. Silly me, I didn't have to ask.

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The last conversation we had, she casually referred to the time she drove with me from Texas to North Carolina to ensconce me at grad school. Days on the road, days setting up my dorm room, countless Taco Bell meals, and I cannot remember a single moment of our trip together. I no longer knew that I had ever taken place. I was shaken when she mentioned it the other day, but did not let her know that I didn't remember until tonight.

I hate this disease. I also hate that I the few things that I remember are mostly what I would like to forget. I hate that the things that I know about my life, even though I do not remember them, are primarily negative. I hate that while I couldn't remember this wonderful gesture she made for me, I no longer at least "knew" that it had happened.

I called to hear about her victory on her list, but I also wanted to talk with her because she is the only real connection to my past that I have. The forgotten trip reminded me of this. My fathers grows sad and is generally confused when I try to get him to tell me what I was like or things that we did together. My sister and brother basically don't believe me that I do not remember. I no longer have contact with my mother. I have known W_ for 25 years...and yet, I can count on one hand the times we have shared together that I actually remember...and the ones that I "know" about measures less than a ten of that time. Still, she is my friend and accepts me for who I am. This day, this moment, I am overwhelmed by the grace that God has given to me in her with the path I must walk with this disease.

I hate that I no longer can hold an unfamiliar phone number in my mind for even the brief time it takes to read it and then turn and pick up a phone to dial the number. In order for me to make a call, I must hold the number immediately adjacent to the dialing pad, repeatedly say the numbers I have dialing, and have a phone system that does not have a short time-out period for dialing numbers. I hate MS for the battles I have dialing phones.

I hate MS for the loss of so much of the knowledge of my life. I simply hate it.

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Yet...despite this...I am thankful for this day of prime golf, food, company, and conversation.