Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I admit it...I am really struggling with discouragement.

I tossed and turned most of the night, dwelling on the fact that I am unemployed and that I cannot seem to find a place where I can use the skills I have. I am jaded and cynical, especially learning that this manager from my old job who consistently did not complete her work or come to meetings on time, who covered over poor results, is now the executive director of a non-profit organization. How did she do it?

After a futile attempt to get to bed early, I got up and went back to the three books on Jesus that I am reading. I stumbled upon a bit of scripture that has given me pause. The parable of seed falling on different types of soil is quite familiar to me, but the thought that flittered through my mind is that perhaps this is not merely a one-time-in-a-person's-life parable. If God is constantly sowing in our lives, then we must constantly be tending to our soil. Although my faith has long been the guiding force in my life, just now, my soil is pretty rocky and weedy. Something to think about...

In any case, I prayed about my feelings and went on-line to read the news. In my search for any information that would distract me from my present mindset enough to possibly send me off to sleep, I came across an article on the organization Volunteer Match. What struck my fancy is the fact that there has been a growing movement of virtual volunteering.

What is that pray tell? Well, the idea acknowledges the fact that there is much work in an organization that does not require someone to actually be on location to accomplish the tasks. For me, the bottom line is that I can volunteer from my couch!

I perused 1,000 opportunities under editing, writing, and communications and came up with six organizations that I thought I would be willing to support with my skills. I registered with the site and contacted each organization. After feeling as if I actually accomplished something, I was able to finally fall asleep.

So, even though I am still in the same clothes from the past few days and dishes are piling up in the sink because the thought of washing them is depressing because they are only there because I am eating so many meals at home being unemployed, tonight, I edited website content for one organization and have been asked to edit a grant proposal by another.

For a few hours, at least, I was able to set aside my feelings of failure and kinship with dirt...

No comments: