Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I learned today that my very good friend D_'s husband lost his job today, on the anniversary of the day she lost her job last year. Heavily pregnant and no real household income is not what I wish for her and hers. My heart aches for her and I pray that they find provider soon.

You know, her husband B_ is one of the hardest workers I know. The reasons for firing were specious. I must admit that my cynicism was renewed upon hearing her news. Why is it that people who genuinely work hard and work in an ethical manner do not seem to prospers in our society?

Case in point: My sister IS the hardest worker I know. She continually gives of herself, going above and beyond the call of duty for her company. For years, she has taken quite seriously
the responsibility of representing her company and looking out for its best interests, often over hers. However, her work ethic has set her up as a target for those whose own work ethic pale in comparison. She does not look out for "number one." She never really has. So, several times she has been the scapegoat of bosses who were trying to cover up their own mistakes. Career wise, she should be earning twice what she does and be well on up the corporate ladder. But...hard work and great performance doesn't really pay.

I saw a press release from my old employer that was written by an admin person. It was unbelievably bad. Riddled with grammatical mistakes, including an incomplete sentence, the release is just a few paragraphs that repeated the same information three times, has incorrect information about the project and the program structure of the organization, and has passages that would fit better on a sappy Hallmark card. My heart broke when I read it. This is what they chose? I offered so much better. I strategically and systematically worked to build something that is now lying fallow. I could write circles around even the rest of senior management. I produce a prodigious amount of successful work. And yet... And yet, they chose crap such as that press release and people who cannot message for the organization, do not work much, and who blatantly take advantage of the organization...

I find myself struggling all over again with being unemployed. I find myself, again, wondering why. I find myself heartsore at seeing the majority of my work set aside. I find myself feeling helpless when all I want is to be able to step into D_'s life and help her out as she has so often helped me out.

I also am losing hope in the interview last week. I sent off the requested samples of my writing, design, and strategic visioning...and received back a "thank you for the materials" email.

I am trying to throw myself back into finishing my novel...but I have struggled with that as well...

Perhaps I just need a Dr. Pepper? I have not yet had one this day...

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