Today was a perfect reflection of God's grace.

I spent much of the day thinking about yesterday and how perfectly clear it was to me that I needed to be at my job in that valley so that I could be a light to someone who would be faced with some of the same darkness. It is difficult to describe how I could ache with tears over her hurt and yet want to dance for joy for the perfect sovereignty of God.

Well, as if I needed another reminder of His grace, I had a co-worker call me this evening, broken over her marriage and a serious financial hole her husband tumbled them both into without thought to the repercussions of his actions. I found myself, for the second time in two days, serving as a beacon of the Truth of Christ and His Word.

It is funny how much counseling I have absorbed from W over the long tenure of our friendship. I was able to help her work through some of what she was thinking and feeling and point her back to the crux of her marriage and life: Jesus Christ.

Furthermore, I was able to share godly examples of the ways between a husband and wife from not only B's life, but from the woman I was with yesterday. Circles of light shed from life to life.

For all the tears I have shed, two days in a row I was privileged to staunch the tears of a sister with the Truth of Christ.

I am not where I wish to be. I struggle with feeling like a failure all the time, feeling as if I have spent the last decade waiting for the opportunity to do what I am capable of doing and yet only find myself in menial labor again and again and again. I produce high quality work and yet I am neither adequately compensated for it nor truly acknowledged for the value added. I have been attacked while trying to work with integrity, and I find myself working with less than sane folks making less than healthy business decisions again and again. And yet...

And yet...God is sovereign. I believe he brought me to this job. While it is not where I would place myself, my time has not been wasted in the Kingdom of God even if there have been no earthly rewards. I admit that I wish those would come, but I revel in the grace God has shown me in the past two days.