I am so tired I am bleary-eyed...literally and figuratively. I am so tired that my soul aches. My heart is so full that I am burdened by its weight, a weight only made heavier by the fact that I long to have earthly support when that of my Heavenly Father should be enough...should be...but I just want someone here...helping me...

I have had little sleep--none on Monday night--since Kashi's surgery. He is still fairly miserable and has yet to consume any food nor take care of his serious business in the back yard. My fingers have multiple bite marks from shoving pills down his throat twice a day. And he whimpers under his breath and trembles constantly. He does respond to doggy massage, but the soothing effect does not linger much. Icing his leg three times a day is a near impossible task. I have never made the 10 minute mark, but, then again, I would not want an ice pack on a swollen, raw wound.

The vet believes I made the right choice--finances aside--and I can understand her position. We did not know about the tumor, which may still be benign, and his was an injury that could be repaired, restoring his quality of life.

I just did not understand it would be this difficult...on either of us.