The insurance company has decided that my doctor has been wrong for three years and I do not need my arthritis pain medication. She is filing an appeal. I am worried.

Today was not the day my mother wanted, nor perhaps I.

The lawn has been mowed and edged and some basic pruning...all in the rain...all because my mother was convinced that my step-father would be upset to see the lawn overgrown. Between babysitting and work and rain, it had gotten quite out of hand.

I slept in, then had a slow start. We stopped by Lowe's to pick up the lumber I need to repair the handrails of the steps that lead down from my upper deck to the grass. Someone had put them in for me when I moved into the home, but the pressure treated boards that were used somehow failed and started curling up off the railing.

Then, given that an hour long call of tears and frustration to the doctor's office resulted in little information, I next stopped by to see what the truth of the matter was. The truth was not what I wanted to hear. Stupid insurance company! My doctor was rather angry at their denial of the course of treatment she believes is best for me. Again, I am worried.

There are days that I cannot handle the pain on the dosage I am on; the insurance company is currently only willing to approve half.

I left her office with a fistful of samples and little hope.

Next stop: Safeway.

Mother fretted the entire time we were there, trying to get met to stick to a list that I had tossed together as a reminder of what I could not leave without, but not all that I needed. When we were checking out, a woman came up behind us who was disabled. I asked if she wanted me to put her items on the belt for, and she gratefully accepted my offer. Mother was impatient and telling me to just leave. Our departure was delayed perhaps two minutes.

Once home, a mad rush to do the yard before it was time to pick up my step-father from the airport ensued, only I did not understand I was racing along. I puttered slowly because I am still sore and weak from the gargantuan outing of yesterday, while Mother pushed and pushed and pushed me to finish. When she despaired about the time, I told her to go ahead and shower and I would soon follow. I wanted to spread the fertilizer since the grass was wet and ready. She yelled at me that it was cruel to just leave my step-father at the airport and she would go ahead and call him to tell him to just take the Metro since I was being so selfish. I snapped at her to just get ready and I would also be ready to go.

We arrived at the airport nearly 10 minutes before he came outside with his luggage. The lawn was fertilized and the chicken marinated before we left. Both by my hands. Both acts colored by my mother's anger.

I prepared dinner and then cleaned up afterward.

Tomorrow, much to Mother's displeasure, my parents are having dinner with Pastor D and his family. He said he would like to meet them; I want them too as well. He said he didn't mind if Mother were less than enthusiastic about having a meal with them; I hope that her distaste of eating with his whole family does not hurt their feelings. I wonder if meeting them for dinner, knowing my parents do not want to go. Of course, they could have just said no; but I know their false sense of social pressure will keep them from doing so.

Having just backed up my computer and updated to Service Pack 3, I am calling it a day. I hope tomorrow brings more patience and an opportunity to be a better witness of my faith. I pray Tuesday brings a positive answer to my doctor's appeal.