Well, the president sent off this email to the entire company that messaged not what I was told, but what made him and the company look quite good after work yesterday. I was floored and felt even worse than I did last Thursday. His opening salvo? That the staffing choices were made on ensuring that the "right folk" remained with the organization. I guess I am wrong folk.

This morning, my boss had scheduled a two-hour meeting to go over my options and develop a plan to find some closure on my work. Well, she blew me off. She called to say that she would be about a half hour late. I left the office after waiting three hours for her to show up. I drove home in tears and plopped down on my couch to reluctantly work on some collateral. I would venture that over the past six months, 95 percent of the time she has left me hanging. I shouldn't have expected anything else. But she keeps saying that she is disappointed in the decision to let me go and wants to help. Right...help me right off the edge of the emotional cliff I am standing upon just now.

If I could afford to walk away today, I would. No questions asked. Hands down I would. I am, however, desperate for this last paycheck. There is absolutely no way that I could afford to turn my back on a check that would cover 85% of July's mortgage payment.

Still, I wish that a giant hole would open up in the earth and swallow me whole. I feel like dirt.