Were I to be honest, I would admit that I still feel like dirt. I thought I had worked out a few things in my mind, but really...I feel the same.

The one board member with whom I have worked closely over the past two years spotted me after the board meeting today and changed directions to speak to me. He held out his hands and offered his congratulations. It was all I could do to keep from crying.

Whatever did the president say to make him think congratulations were in order? I LOST MY JOB! What good is there in that? About what should I be happy? He finished by saying that if there was ever anything he could do to please ask. I looked him straight in the eye and replied that I could send him my resume.

I walked straight back to the office I have been using (I cannot bear to be in mine) and sent it straight off to him.

I cried in my office. I sniffled on the way home. Tears leaked out at my writing student's house where I was trying to wish happy returns on both her parent's birthday. The flood came once I arrived home. No shopvac needed this time.

I keep telling myself that this is my work's loss. They are choosing mediocrity. Yet it does nothing to salve my battered and bruised heart. I spent 26 months of the hardest, highest caliber work I have ever done, all the while working to the benefit of the company rather than myself...what a fool I have been.

How can communications not be important to a growing company? It has to be. So, therefore, why am I the wrong folk?