Friday, April 11, 2008

Happy B-Day Dear W!

I had a bit of a lesson today. You see, yesterday I got spoken to rather strongly by my boss who was mistaken about what she heard. Then I was spoken to rather strongly about what she thought she was mistaken about. Several mistakens later, I was still being spoken strongly too when all I have done since I arrived was work, work, work while trying to figure out my new world. Been pretty darned protective over 10 days, if I may say so.

Anyhow, I called D on the way home because I didn't want to rant to my Second Cousin D and his family when I haven't seen them in oh so many years. D has this most wonderful attitude about women: "We support each other; that's what women do!" She was juggling three children and dinner when I called and asked if she could call me back. I told her sure, but that I was meeting folks for dinner so it would have to be latter. When she realized I just needed to vent, she told me to hang on a moment, settled her children briefly, and told me to spill my day.

Those five or so minutes were just what I needed.

I had wanted to talk with my boss about the exchange. Sometimes, she says these things that could be devastating if I were to take them at face value. I mean, I know she's been under staffed for months and has a colossal backlog. While I would love to roll up my sleeves and bring order to the chaos I see (some organization and data and boilerplate materials would go a long way), what I want, while very much needed, is not what she needs. She needs someone to stand beside her and just pitch in while she tries to find her own balance.

I'm okay with that. After all, I have a MUCH better salary, a WONDERFUL commute, a job in an HONORABLE company, and work that I ENJOY and where I can WRITE. And today I was reminded just how witty and fun my boss can be. I laughed through my interviews, at peace with the possibility of working with her even though I knew she was ever so particular about how she would like things designed.

I wanted to say something, but I didn't because I didn't want make a deal about it. First, it just doesn't matter. My last job finally taught me that. My self image has nothing to do with how I am perceived by other people or how my work is received. I just needed to be patient.

I was. I didn't speak. I took my respite of D's listening ear and my verbal spew and set them aside. I enjoyed the evening with my Second Cousin D and his family and took myself off to work today with a willing attitude.

So, as I said, I slogged through much work and then enjoyed a hearty repartee with my boss. It was as if in that moment, God stood beside me, reminding me of the value of His lessons, especially when I actually follow them!

I have been working on patience in so very many areas. Patience in pain. Patience in a career. Patience in purchase. Patience in decisions. Patience in speaking.

Now...B would say that my next lesson should be patience in griping. She might be right!

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