The Sunday paper last week came with a free sample of Quaker Oats latest product, a maple and brown sugar version of oatmeal that came with a crunchy topping you add once the oatmeal has been cooked.

I must admit that I have never quite been a fan of oatmeal. A year ago, when my mother visited, she purchased this very expensive can of cross-cut oatmeal and cooked it for me. The process took over half an hour and I enjoyed the still crunchy texture. I still have the can of oats, but I have not tried to repeat her culinary craft with regard to them because she neglected to leave me the recipe.

At first, I threw away the packet, half because it was a small package of oatmeal and half because it came attached to a newspaper. After all, who knows how it got there or what safety measures were taken in this free distribution. However, the next day found me searching the trash can for my arthritis pill.

I had put it in my pocket with the rest of my day's medicine when coming downstairs, forgotten about them, stuck some trash in my pocket as I was cleaning, threw the trash away, remembered the pills, pulled them out of my pocket, and realized that the Celebrex was missing. The pain I am in without that pill is nearly overwhelming, so searching a trash can is the least of what I would do to get it back.

I did not find the pill, but I did come across the packet of oatmeal. It was wrapped in plastic and had come to no harm for its stint in the can. When I was putting all the trash back in the can, I thought about my financial state and decided that I should eat the oatmeal.

While I still find instant oatmeal a bit slimy for my tastes (texture oft plays a role in what I prefer to eat...ah-hem...okra), anything that is laced with maple flavoring and brown sugar is high on my list of favorites. Therefore, the free meal was not as objectionable that I first suspected that it would be. I would note that the serving was a bit sparse. I know that oatmeal is supposed to stick to your ribs, stay with you all day long. However, this serving, if stretched by pausing between each bite, might have covered, oh, two of them? Perhaps, three. Certainly not the whole set!