I managed to complete another chapter last night. I am close, oh so close to finishing this dream of mine. I am, however, quite stuck.

I know where Megan and Graham will be in just two months. The ending is clear to me, even though it means re-writing the original ended I drafted two years ago. That one is romantic, not realistic. I have come to prefer the what should be rather than what could be. I just cannot see how to get from here to there.

BIG SIGH!

This afternoon, when my fingers were resting idly on the keyboard, I was surprised to receive a phone call from my brother. A normally taciturn man, he spoke for over two hours as we talked through my options. During this conversation, he actually said that if I felt it was right for me to move then I should, even though every member of my family is against it. Sometimes you have to make the decision that you know is right for you and then go after it full throttle was his advice. I was stunned, absolutely stunned.

And while he repeated three times that were I interested in listening that he could easily list a dozen or more reasons why it would be utterly wrong to sell my house and move, including all the transaction costs he is sure I have not taken into account, he did not criticize me once. He listened to my thoughts and concerns and even gave me five sentences to tell him about the novel I was writing (he did question whether doing so was detracting from my job search). Really, by the end of the phone call you could have knocked me over with a feather.

He does believe I should try to hold on until the summer before putting the house on the market. I could cash out half of my retirement (it is in two different accounts) and get by that way. I will start temping when the unemployment runs out next week. I will no longer have the flexibility to go to interviews and such, but considering that that well is quite dry, it won't matter. I did figure out that I would make little more as an admin temp than the unemployment and will still continue to have approximately only half of the funds I need to cover my mortgage, insurance, medicines, and general living expenses.

My brother also actually listened as I talked about where to move, since he accurately concluding while listening to me that I truly want to try and find a new life somewhere rather than stay in this place of failure. He did say that it sounded as if the where wasn't yet clear to me and that until it was I should not make the leap. I need to work at determining that with the same focus as pursuing a job. He also stressed that I should take as much time as I need, rather than feel obligated to decide by an arbitrary date.

Thus, were I to take his advice under my belt, I should set myself to the housekeeping list so that I can be ready to put the house on the market. Believing not in Christ, prayer played no part in his advice. I have prayed, however, for direction in this great leap of mine. I have prayed for the wisdom to discern whether Wisconsin is the correct answer or merely an easy one. Am I being drawn there or am I taking the wheel from Christ?

What a strange, strange day this has been...